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the moments of my life

It's beautiful and sunny out today. I left the door open so Zilla can poke her head out without having to fully commit to being outside. I am dressed and fed but still lingering at home. Part of me is apprehensive about seeking out my Mom's company again. Still I know she came here to visit me so I should give it another go. I just hope a more mellow time can be had. It bugs me when she thinks I'm trying to give her a hard time or thinks I'm grouchy because of something she thinks happened between Sam and I. I just get frustrated when the littlest things need such deliberations. Its hard to sit and have coffee for hours whilst being told you seem sad or bored or mad, being somewhat interrogated and then if shedoesn't like your response or facial expression she gets all upset. Do you want to know the real me or would you rather I pretend harder to be the me you want? I guess we just have a complex relationship that requires some serious mental choreography to navigate.

The kind that can really weigh me down sometimes. Still, she's my mom and I love her. It's still early. I think I'll linger here a little longer before I try again.


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Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
misshelenc
Oct. 14th, 2013 09:39 pm (UTC)
I've loved all your pictures honey, thank you for the updates and posting them.
I hope you and mum are getting on well and the new job is going well too, I am looking forward to all the news and hearing how it's all working out.
Lots of love and hugs xxxx
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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